OMG!! I’m sat in my office wishing I’d kept my big mouth shut about race reports, how on earth do you do a race report with more than 40 club members racing…… and not miss out or upset anyone, especially with my track record! The task seems never ending when you stop and realise the Gazette report needs to be just 250 words (no where near enough space for my verbal disposition) plus my new column in tri 24/7 (yeah right) and I’m wondering how many damn reports am I going to be writing per race, it would be rude to just do the one! The people of Taunton will have to cope without my Insurance expertise on Mondays from now on and all those lovely bills I’ve got will just have to wait!
Just about managed to get the first Gazette report in before Monday came and went, thought the first one should explain a little about Tri’s as most people you talk to know nothing about them…..Sods law it had to be my busiest Monday for some time….ARGH!

I’m afraid I didn’t have a list of Prize winners so there was a bit of guessing involved so apologies if I’ve missed anyone out! But the main thing is the Club’s starting to promote itself locally…..and I got a great respond from the paper which sounds encouraging.

I spent half of Tuesday finishing the Tri 24/7’s offering only to loose the lot when I tried to submit it……..Managed to get at least 3 club members mentioned, and I have to say was really pleased with the finished article! Ho hum, the stresses of being a hack! ………..Much more importantly back to our website report, maybe it’ll be best and definitely safest to tell the story with photos….I certainly took enough! Be brave JB since when did you go for the safe option! Sorry, sorry…. enough rambling lets get down to the race itself!

I think this year’s race was one of the best I’ve been to, I don’t know if it’s just me but certainly last year’s race seemed a slightly subdued atmosphere. Our sport can be just a bit Elitist by it’s very nature and unless you’re super fast you don’t get acknowledged - I may be just as guilty of that myself from time to time. But this year had a real virginal excitement about it which was in no small part made by all the new club members that have taken the club and sport to their heart and also taken the membership past the magical ‘century’ mark over the winter. Well done everyone - I for one was very proud to have been involved.

The morning’s racing was quite rightly greeted with perfect conditions of clear blue windless skies, and the initial quiet nervousness was replaced by whoops of encouragement as the first swimmers exited the pool, this is the first year I’ve really understood what the novice race is all about, god I’m getting soft! …….and I watched and encouraged in aura of the NSPCC girls as they all braved their own far more worthy challenges. One by one the first SRC tri guys and girls entered T1 with loud cries of support from all those odd looking geezers in Emerald green, enough to make me one turf (worst Irish Accent) Irish blood head for the nearest pub to celebrate St Patrick’s day all over again!! Top of the mourning toy…..Well done everyone for coping with the ‘friendly’ barrage of abuse as we all uniquely mounted our bikes, nothing ever happens when you’ve got your camera ready!

Before we knew it everyone was coming back into T2 perhaps with the playful exceptions of Gerald still in transition wrestling with his top:

and Nick still figuring out where & how his crash helmet works!

Come on chaps give us a smile!?

Doesn’t matter how many times you practice transitions they always have a habit of messing with your head just when you think you’ve mastered it you stretch for that shoe off balance or forget where your bike was (it’s next to you ‘Bill Daughtrey’, remember you just put your helmet on!)

and it’s happened to the best of us when you suddenly run around in a blind panic not even remembering what colour your balloon was ‘Malcolm Hector’ at least you weren’t a head chicken AND shouting abuse at anyone who’ll listen like most. Where’s my god damn bike (Mr. Smith from a few years ago down in sunny Swanage!)…..or words to that affect! Fair play to you Mr. Hector how you stayed upright dancing around in your cleats:

God only knows - It did make me smile!........And finally Nick Facey performing the perfect bike mount on his very jazzy rear wheel to only cycle over his shoe and force it off his pedal…..Sorry Nick I missed this one!

(Joe got this photo though!)

Enough of my Mickey taking……for now I think.  You may have gathered I’m playing it safe and going for some easy laughs, but I’ve already written a small book and haven’t mentioned any stats, not sure I’m cut out for this after all!

With 40 odd club finishers I’d like to pick out just those who in my eyes improved on previous years or for one reason or another deserve a mention…..Firstly to all those who don’t have the time to train or indeed the obsession that some of us have or may be very new to the sport – fair play to you - Paula Morse, Caroline Facey, Mags Baker & Gill Smith, I honestly believe it’s a greater achievement racing for more than 1 ½ hours than the ‘everything hurts’ ‘I’ve trained too hard’ lads at the head of the field……..Kate Kelly improved by a more than impressive 4 minutes which considering the training Andrew does must mean she doesn’t have the chance for much herself – with excellent drops on both bike & run times was an excellent result. Jodi Cameron improved by the best part of a monstrous 10 minutes from 2006, a truly amazing effort with 4 mins off the bike & another 5 mins off the run – Star of the show in my book! Chris Cox improved over 3 mins which was all on the bike (good advice for all the newest chaps ‘the bike is your friend’ –‘learn to love the hills’, but don’t ignore the run), (What am I talking about!) well done Sir!

Joe Page bettered his swim and run from last year and if not for some pretty serious bike problems may well have been the quicker side of 1:17 for the first time, better luck next time Joe – Whata you doooo! Nick Facey took a minute off his bike, must be that flashy wheel although I wouldn’t have liked to ride it up ‘em hills – well done! Steve Martin completed his first of many (I hope) races for 2 years, nice to have you back mate. Sue Fulford was ‘more’ than delighted with her race, with her stopwatch set for eternity on 1:19.17, and so she should be, out of everyone new to the club Sue epitomizes everything that’s great about Triathlon with her infectious enthusiasm to try something new pushing her own comfort boundaries in the process, good to have you on board Tri Babe.

It was great to see a ‘well again’ Andy P who despite his nasty crash in Majorca still rode an impressive 44 min bike, well done mate and he managed to stay on as well this year, top effort! Sian Clark bettered last year by 2 minutes with minute PB’s in both the bike & run. Malcolm Greenslade another casualty of his bike this spring did incredibly well setting a torpedo like Wellington Swim PB of 5:32 and despite only just being able to bike again within the last month was within a minute of his PB too. The rest obviously did you some good  MG. Max Sauter was another to improve 2½ mins with a massive 1 ½ mins off the run have you finally stop smoking old chap? Well done regardless. Gerald Gilbert despite his wrestle in T1 set a quick 42 min bike which would no doubt have been his quickest ever but for his ‘vest’ issue, you can never be too sure at your age Gerald. I sure you’ll have a great Tour of Wessex based on this, just choose your clothes carefully!

Martin Lock also did well shaving another 2 mins off his best with a speedy 20.49 run split, with your bike looking stronger too I think you’re set for a great summer, enjoy! Paul ‘Spider’ Jones just keeps getting faster and with that sparkly new stead and a 2 mins faster bike Bournemouth here we ‘both’ come (hills are overrated, who says I’m consistent!). Nick Smith just defies age and continues to churn out the times he was achieving 5 years ago, shame he’s not been listening to his Swim coach though, with pretty much his slowest swim, is the water getting thicker ‘Deputy’ Dog? Jonnie Gilling as always showed us all how to run, sporting his lovely new trisuit, how come a medium fits you Mr 6’4 tall person when it doesn’t me….perhaps we won’t go there – Thank you Jonesy mum’s the word! Mr cool and charming Matt Goodman lowered last year’s time by the best part of a staggering 5 mins which at the fast end of the race is a stonking effort obviously helped by a 2 minute quicker swim, and  boy you looked sexy on your Italian Stallion!

Duncan Bawler deserves a special mention for being ever present over the weekend and still managing to knock another 2 minutes of his course best and is now mixing it with the very best in the club. Well Done Dunc good to see you fulfilling your potential and also running very well off the bike. Nick Mace, despite struggling in the week with Juliet’s recent lurgy (that’ll teach you to get too close to Girls) performed up to his consistently high standard and would of no doubt picked up some silverware had he felt healthier off the bike. Ed Paull although disappointed with his race, got to within a tantalizing 2 seconds of the magical 40 min barrier on the bike so my advice if you want it is don’t beat yourself up, your body can only do what it feels like on the day.

I was delighted to see me young buddy ‘Dan The Man’ or DTM to me, aka Dan Hockley back in the club fold having kept in touch by email and text ‘only’ over the last year, and his Swim/Bike was easily the best in the club and coming out of T2 was an incredible 2nd! Which I guess shows just how hard winning races is with the need for excellence in all three disciplines which is indeed a rare gift. A point equally illustrated by the clubs Hero of the day, Andrew Kelly who despite a stomach bug reclaimed all but a minute (excluding the winner) of his very generous 3 minute head start he likes to give his rivals with a quite magnificent Bike/Run that left him completely drained he was almost unconscious standing up when I saw him, a truly awesome effort sir, and I hope your recovery is just as impressiveJ. Straddled between these two triathlon odd balls was Mr consistent himself, or should I say him who said ‘oh you’re gonna so whip my arse today Ayresy’ yet again before a race… yeah yeah I think this performance Mr Duncan Richards really should put this nonsense you insist on saying to bed once and for all, because you truly are inspiring if not a tad lightweight helping on race day! Oops and I was doing so well, good job you’re a friend, I hope!

That’s it from me, the club clearly goes from strength to strength as almost without exception you all improved or maintained the scarily high standard the club has now achieved. Finally (hurrah) I’m embarrassed and sorry it’s so long and if you got this far, get a Bloody life!

Jonnie-Boy

Thanks Jonnie - a true masterpiece - photo gallery of the day available here.